I love Eva Longoria Parker.

OK, now that I have that out of the way, can I talk about how ridiculous(ly awesome??) she looks riding on the back of Tony’s scooter (??) as they zip around France on Thursday. Seriously? Snakeskin platform pumps are ALWAYS a good idea, but maybe not while on the back of a moped?

Hey, at least they’re wearing helmets.

Image: splashnewsonline.com

Eva Longoria Parker has said over and over again how she’s actually a lot less desperate and a lot more housewife to husband Tony Parker in real life. So I can imagine that her recipe for pan de polvo — Mexican wedding cookies — is phenomenal.

Here’s her recipe, from InStyle magazine:

2 whole sticks of Mexican cinnamon
1 teaspoon of anise seed (ooh, spicy!)
1 and 1/2 cups of water
1/3 cup of unsalted butter
1/3 cup of butter-flavored shortening
One half a cup of sugar
1 teaspoon of almond extract (mmm…if I had my way, everything would be flavored with almond).
2 and 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons of baking powder
1/4 of a teaspoon of salt
Sugary cookie topping:
2 tablespoons of ground cinnamon
4 tablespoons of sugar

Keep reading for the rest of the recipe!

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Here’s Eva Longoria Parker leaving Ken Paves’ salon this week. Can you take a guess how much her Valentino Petale handbag is?

Is it:
$450
$700
$1,200
$2,500
$10,000

The answer? $2,500. It’s more than I’ll ever have to spend on a bag, but this one’s so gorgeous it’s worth it. Sometimes those overpriced purses are nothing more than a vehicle for the company’s logo, you know? This one’s managed to combine classic and modern (and metallic, yay!) all in one bag. Want!

P.S. What’s going on with your lips, girl?? Please don’t tell me you’ve started down this road….

Image: Pacific Coast News

Paparazzi caught Eva Longoria Parker and her husband Tony Parker last night, sneaking out of Beso — the restaurant she owns.

I think this is the perfect time to play “What Are Eva and Tony Saying?” Yes?

Tony: Here, baby, lemme open this door for you. …while I laugh at this dude sayin’ something funny behind you. You can’t see him, though, because I’m four feet taller than you.

Eva: It’s cool. My eye level only goes to this fake bling on your shirt. And this graphic pattern at your waist. Wait. What? Why am I married to someone who wears a fake blinged-out skull and cross bones on his shirt? Why are you squeezing my hand so hard? Tony? Tooonnnyy??

Tony: Don’t worry ’bout it, baby. I’m just holding on tight because, you know, I don’t want you to go anywhere. Because daaaang, you look good.

Eva: Oh, thank god! Paparazzi will save me! Never thought I’d be happy to see them! Guys? Tony’s got my hand. He’s not letting go. Anyone?

Tony: I totally can’t hear a word you’re sayin down there, Itsy Bit.

Eva: What’s wrong with me? Toolish shirt or not, you’re still hot. And you’re right about me. Look at the good job Ken Paves did on my hair. Daaaaaang I look good.

Images: Bauer Griffin

The giant makeup empire that uses the multi-racial faces of Beyonce, Kerry Washington and, of course, our very own Eva Longoria Parker, has been accused of pushing for an all-white staff of people to hawk their shampoos.

The Paris Appeal Court in France found L’Oreal and the recruiting company they used (Adecco) guilty of discrimination after they allegedly told recruiters not to hire any “BBR” hosts to sell Fructis shampoo in French supermarkets, according to the London Times.

“BBR” means “bleu, blanc, rouge” — “blue, white, red” — the colors of the French flag and a code for “white people.”

L’Oreal and Adecco were fined 30,000 euros.

What company will use the beautiful faces of these women to sell the products, but acts differently about those same faces working behind the scenes?

Image: Bauer Griiffin

If you’re a pop culture-head (like me?) you can’t get away from the train wreck that is this bizarre fight between Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas and Perez Hilton at the MuchMusic Awards in Toronto on Sunday. Perez was hit in the face — he says by the Black Eyed Peas’ manager. Both sides have since taken to all forms of social media in an exhausting war of text.

In the most recent statement from Perez, as posted on his Web site yesterday, he (sorta) apologizes for poking fun at an altercation Jesse Metcalfe (who used to play Gaby’s underage gardener and love interest, John Rowland) had with a bachelor party last May. In all the years I’ve been reading Perez, I’ve yet to see the man apologize. Well, there’s a first for everything, right? Here’s what Perez had to say:

“I leave this traumatic experience as a person with more compassion. Specifically, there was an instance last year when actor Jesse Metcalfe was attacked outside of a Hollywood nightclub by a fellow entertainer. I did not condone the violence, but I did make light of that situation. I regret that. Sincerely.”

Too little, too late?

Image: Pacific Coast News

Look! Eva has managed to combine my two favorite things in life: Desperate Housewives and Frostys. She served surprised guests at a Wendy’s in San Antonio by serving them Frosty’s during Wendy’s third-annual Father’s Day Frosty Weekend, Extra reports.

Fifty cents from every Frosty sold went to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. This video is too cute, too sweet, and too genuine!

Look! The real Eva can be just as beautiful as Gaby — only kind.

They’re spending more and more time in front of the paparazzi, aren’t they? Eva and Tony watch the finals of the 2009 French Open on Friday.

Two things I never noticed about Tony Parker’s face (maybe because I’m always looking at Eva?):

1. The cleft in his chin! Holy John Travolta-esque, Batman!
2. The scar on his cheek. I just got this flash of Eva first asking him how he got it, and him making up some story like, “Oh, I got it in a terrible knife fight back in high school when a gang of angry Frenchmen tried to steal my lucky T-shirt. You should see what I did to them.” He’d later admit, of course, that he accidentally walked into a pole…or something equally as embarrassing.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Let’s take a moment and just imagine what Eva and Tony Parker could possibly be talking about while vacationing and lovin’ all up on each other on a yacht in Saint-Tropez.

Tony: Hey, baby, whatchoo lookin’ at down there?
Eva: Oh, nothing. Just lost the bottoms to this white bathing suit. Or the top to the tie-dye one. I think I dropped them in the beautiful, luxurious waters beneath our yacht.
Tony: Let me see if I can find them for you.
Eva: But baby, you’re doing such a good job holding up my mismatching bottoms. You just continue to stand there and hold them and look pretty, and I’ll look pretty while I do all the work.
Tony: I sure like showing off all of the love that I have for you. Ain’t got no poh-poh-poh-poker face with you, snookums, even though I’ve got my poh-poh-pok-pokerpants on.
Eva: Oh, by the way, sista’s got no roundness in the belly, so I’m obviously not pregnant. I would, however, like to show off the roundness I gots on my other side. See?

Images: Bauer Griffin

Eva Longoria Parker told the New York Daily News that she’d love to play famous Mexican actress Maria Felix in a biopic about her life. Felix died in 2002.

What do you guys think? Could she pull it off?

Image: Bauer Griffin