Aight, I think I’m taking this one with a grain of salt, but the National Enquirer is reporting that a set insider said Nicollette Sheridan was angry about not getting a going-away party, so she stole a buncha stuff from her trailer.

This includes: a flat-screen TV, mattress, silk sheets, pillows, dishes, pots and the weirdest ones — crystal chandeliers and the light fixtures OFF THE WALLS.

Nicollette’s rep told the Enquirer that the stuff she took was hers, but an ABC spokesperson said: “These rumors are not true.” I don’t know if he/she is talking about the fact that she took anything at all, or the fact that her rep is saying the stuff’s hers.

Either way, this isn’t a pretty story. You guys buy it?

If it is true, maybe it’s just because her wife is emasculating her and she needs to steal things from the neighbors to take control over her life? Wait a second…..

Image: Pacific Coast News

It’s funny, but Marcia Cross sounds like she’s taking tips from Bree’s mothering habits — and doing the exact opposite for her real-life children.

It’s good news (for DH fans) to hear that she’s got no interest in reprising her character of Dr. Kimberly Shaw Mancini for the Melrose Place remake — because she feels like she’s done everything possible with that character. How much more can she do with Bree?

I’m not sure this is a huge surprise to anyone, but Neal McDonough — dude who plays Crazy Dave on the show — told Access Hollywood that he’d be the one to murder Edie.

“I had to do something nasty to my wife in the show,” he said. “I go hunting in the woods and I’m not hunting for deer.”

He also goes on to say that he might kill someone else? I mean, the target’s Mike. Think he misses and hits Edie instead of Mike?

Guesses?

Also, can we talk about how Neal seems to be the only actor saying things he probably shouldn’t be saying? Everyone else is so tight-lipped. I’m hoping he’s not getting into any trouble with Marc Cherry, but man, keep it up, Neal!

Or…maybe he’s not going to be on the show much longer and has nothing to lose? I mean, it’s safe to say that when Edie goes, there’s no place for her killer husband, right?

Image: Pacific (Neal signs autographs at the premiere of “RocknRolla” in this photo from Oct.

Desperate Housewives “The Story of Lucy and Jessie”
Air Date: March 15, 2009
Liveblog/recap

I’m watching the show by myself tonight. Neighbor Peggy’s got a lot of teacher-homework-business to do, so she’s missing out on the OMG 2 GURLS R GUNNA KISS episode. At ANY rate, I guess it’s all on me to make fun of the writers for using a tired, society-damaging device like a lesbian kiss to get more viewers. Let’s see if it was worth it…

9:00: The previously on shows Crazy Dave organizing his camping trip. This is one of the stories I’ve been dying to see more of. So has Edie! And Bradley! And Amy’s off to a terrible, non-hilarious start to tonight’s live blog. Will she get less funny? Stay tuned to find out.
9:03: Funny how things work out, eh? Carlos and Gaby can use Boss Bradley’s bribes to keep his cheating ways quiet to their benefit — and do all these things some would call “sinful,” and, in the end, Carlos gets Bradley’s job. What would you call that? Luck?
9:05: Edie just found out that Crazy Dave’s adorable daughter died in the same crash as his wife…and well, that he even had an adorable daughter to begin with. Want more! Want more! I want the entire show to be about Dave and Edie.
9:07: Aw, I was hoping for Lynette to stand up for herself when those two “old” 28-year-olds started rambling like Rachel McAdams in “Mean Girls” about how “old” women don’t stand a chance in the biz. Instead, all we got  was a “call my kids if you hear a gunshot”? Come on Lynette, where you at, lady???
9:08: And here’s our first opportunity to see Susan teaching — and Swoosie Kurtz! As previously reported, we knew she was going to be on the show, but we didn’t know how. Now we will…
9:10: Orson’s trying to justify his thievery to Bree. She’s not getting it. “Stealing a ceramic duck give you a thrill?” Ha! And he scoffs at the idea of talking to a psychiatrist, and says he’s not crazy. Oh, right, and Bree met you at the supermarket, was it, Orson? Right? Ooohhh, yeaaaah. Nice try, dude, but Dave’ll probably be leaving the show soon, and let’s face it: Every good awesome/trashy soap opera needs at least one crazy. You’ll take that crown from Dave, Orson.

Read more

Neal McDonough, the man who plays Crazy Dave Williams, talks to TV Guide — which is cool because we don’t normally see much out of this actor in the way of interviews. And he seems like a down-to-earth, less-than-crazy, normal guy, doesn’t he?

He confirms that Edie will not only die, but that she’ll die in the NEXT EPISODE. He wouldn’t say that Dave kills Edie, or anything more details about her death, though. I’m super, super excited for the Camping Trip of Death that Crazy Dave is orchestrating.

“She’s going to have a fantastic send-off,” he says.

OMGCANNOTWAIT!!!

Maybe there’s something in the San Pellegrino on Wisteria Lane, but it seems like we’ve seen a lot of hugging between castmates lately (and no, I’m not talking about the soon-to-be infamous kiss between Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria Parker).

First, Felicity Huffman and Nicollette Sheridan share a hug on Friday on the set of the show (and Nicollette later looks like a picture-perfect model while walking her dog) and then Felicity gives Eva a squeeze during the screening of her new movie, “Phoebe in Wonderland.”

Image: splashnewsonline.com

…say whaaat?

Dana Delaney talked to E! Online’s Marc Malkin about Nicollette Sheridan leaving the show, and Edie’s potential death. She said she knew what was going to happen, but obviously couldn’t tell him.

“You know, things change very quickly on the show,” she said. “People dead doesn’t mean dead on television.”

And she wouldn’t say anything else! What does that even mean?? I’m wondering if it’s something along the lines of Edie leaving Wisteria Lane and THEN dying?

I can’t believe how successful the Desperate Housewives writers/publicity makers have been going into sweeps!

Wait, yes I can.

Marc Cherry has been asked to cut $1 million from the ‘wives budget, reports E!’s Ted Casablanca. So that means, although Nicollette’s departure from the show has definitely been confirmed, she won’t be the only one. As for now, it’ll only be “guest stars” leaving, Ted said.

Who do you think will be desperately searchin’ for a new job? Better yet, who do you think should be desperately searchin’ for a new job?

These are my guesses: No more Lily Tomlin as one half of the Old-Lady P.I.s (though they best not be getting rid of Mrs. McCluskey…). I think we already knew this one, but this probably means Jackson/Gale Harold is gone for good. Who else? Katherine? A lass can hope, can’t she?

E! Online is reporting that Edie’ll be killed off the show “in an accident involving a car and an electrical wire.”

Ugh. Sounds horrible. Kathryn Joosten (Mrs. McCluskey) told E! the details last night. Apparently, Nicollette told the cast she was leaving at their regular 2 p.m. table read yesterday.

Here’s what Joosten said:

“She said, ‘Bye, it was really nice working with everybody. It’s been terrific and a real honor. Then we all said, ‘Bye,’ and she said, ‘I have a scene to go do, so let me go study that.’ And that was that. Totally professional.”

I still want to know if this was by her own volition, by force of the natural plotline (don’t believe that one…) or because someone wasn’t happy with her?

Regardless, it looks like Dave won’t directly cause her death, but I have a funny feeling it has something to do with him.

The REAL question is this: Will the show be the same without Nic?

TV Guide magazine reported tonight that Edie Britt will be written off the show, though gave no details (boo!) on how or when it might happen.

I’ll keep you guys posted on this news, but it definitely brings up the Crazy Dave thing into question. Think he kills her? Edie’s gotta have a big, glorious exit and — now that we’re expecting it — I think Dave killing her is the only way (sorry, it pains me to say that…)

I’m really going to miss her. Wonder who’s decision this was? As you remember, Edie’s already made one departure at the end of last season.

Again, check back for more updates. I’ll post ‘em when I have ‘em!

Image: Pacific Coast News