With Sarah Palin’s recent announcement that she’ll be stepping down early as governor of Alaska, we’re going back to some old rumors that swirled late last year: that she could become the newest desperate housewife. Ken Tucker from Entertainment Weekly has the same idea.

It was sort of mentioned lightly last year, what with her hot career in politics and all….but now? This is seriously a viable option for the conservative pro-abstinence parent of an unwed teenage mother. Ken’s reasoning is that we need a replacement for Edie. I disagree — we need someone to take over the NRA-badge-totin role on this show. Bree’s gotten far too moderate these days, don’t you think?

So I’m using this blog as a political platform. Post a comment if you want to see the former VP candidate as an actress on “Desperate Housewives.” Maybe she and Marc will see it and listen to us. You, American Desperate Housewives Fans, can have your voice heard!

Who’s with me??

Image: Bauer Griffin

I love Eva Longoria Parker.

OK, now that I have that out of the way, can I talk about how ridiculous(ly awesome??) she looks riding on the back of Tony’s scooter (??) as they zip around France on Thursday. Seriously? Snakeskin platform pumps are ALWAYS a good idea, but maybe not while on the back of a moped?

Hey, at least they’re wearing helmets.

Image: splashnewsonline.com

Here’s Eva Longoria Parker leaving Ken Paves’ salon this week. Can you take a guess how much her Valentino Petale handbag is?

Is it:
$450
$700
$1,200
$2,500
$10,000

The answer? $2,500. It’s more than I’ll ever have to spend on a bag, but this one’s so gorgeous it’s worth it. Sometimes those overpriced purses are nothing more than a vehicle for the company’s logo, you know? This one’s managed to combine classic and modern (and metallic, yay!) all in one bag. Want!

P.S. What’s going on with your lips, girl?? Please don’t tell me you’ve started down this road….

Image: Pacific Coast News

I think the title of this post sums up this photo of Jesse Metcalfe leaving Hyde last night quite well.

Do we think the former underage gardener and rehabber looks like he’s sober enough to drive himself home after a night at the favorite spot of celebrity club-goers?

Image: Pacific Coast News

Hard-edged tough chick Drea de Matteo — you know her from “The Sopranos” (and maybe “Friends” spin-off “Joey”…Anyone? Anyone?) — will be the next woman in desperation to take up residence on Wisteria Lane as a series regular, Entertainment Weekly is reporting.

Not moving far from her “Sopranos” roots, de Matteo will be the head of an Italian household, and will be married to a landscaper and have a “tightly wound” son, according to EW.com’s Michael Ausiello. Both of those roles have yet to be cast, but as long as they’re good actors, I don’t care who they are. I just can’t wait to get some “Sopranos” gangsta action to the ‘burbs.

I am SO excited for this move, and here’s why: Every town has its village idiot, right? Wisteria Lane is no different — except they need the village slut. Edie’s dead, so who’s going to take on that title? I’m thinking Drea’s character is going to take a lot from Edie role, but will be stronger and bring a rougher, more masculine housewife to the show.

Yay!

P.S. I’m calling it right now: She and Susan are NOT going to get along.

Image: Pacific Coast News

The giant makeup empire that uses the multi-racial faces of Beyonce, Kerry Washington and, of course, our very own Eva Longoria Parker, has been accused of pushing for an all-white staff of people to hawk their shampoos.

The Paris Appeal Court in France found L’Oreal and the recruiting company they used (Adecco) guilty of discrimination after they allegedly told recruiters not to hire any “BBR” hosts to sell Fructis shampoo in French supermarkets, according to the London Times.

“BBR” means “bleu, blanc, rouge” — “blue, white, red” — the colors of the French flag and a code for “white people.”

L’Oreal and Adecco were fined 30,000 euros.

What company will use the beautiful faces of these women to sell the products, but acts differently about those same faces working behind the scenes?

Image: Bauer Griiffin

Tennis star Serena Williams, 27, (shown here on June 22 during day one of the 2009 Wimbledon Championship) is working on a comedy that’ll take from the shows she loves — and one of those favorites is, yes, “Desperate Housewives.” (According to “The West Australian.”)

“It’s a mixture of some of my favorite shows, like ‘Desperate Housewives,’ and ‘Sex and the City,’ and actually ‘Family Guy.’ It’s kind of those put together in one, if you can imagine.”

No word on when “Desperate Sex Guy,” will be finished or show up on your local cable channel, but we can imagine it’ll feature a group of four multiple divorcees who all are alcoholics and have talking dogs who have too many flashbacks.

Image: Bauer Griffin

If you’re a pop culture-head (like me?) you can’t get away from the train wreck that is this bizarre fight between Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas and Perez Hilton at the MuchMusic Awards in Toronto on Sunday. Perez was hit in the face — he says by the Black Eyed Peas’ manager. Both sides have since taken to all forms of social media in an exhausting war of text.

In the most recent statement from Perez, as posted on his Web site yesterday, he (sorta) apologizes for poking fun at an altercation Jesse Metcalfe (who used to play Gaby’s underage gardener and love interest, John Rowland) had with a bachelor party last May. In all the years I’ve been reading Perez, I’ve yet to see the man apologize. Well, there’s a first for everything, right? Here’s what Perez had to say:

“I leave this traumatic experience as a person with more compassion. Specifically, there was an instance last year when actor Jesse Metcalfe was attacked outside of a Hollywood nightclub by a fellow entertainer. I did not condone the violence, but I did make light of that situation. I regret that. Sincerely.”

Too little, too late?

Image: Pacific Coast News

So we’ve already established that things are a little wonky (a little?) between Bree and Orson, what with the impending divorce and all. Now that Karl’s in the picture, slutting up the scene and having an affair with Bree, things are even more complicated.

Apparently, Bree’s not the stone-cold tough lady she kinda seems to be, and she’s going to face some stress about breaking one of those Ten Commandments. (Wait, infidelity is one, right?)

According to Mickey O’Connor from TV Guide, Bree will turn to “an old friend who you might have thought was out of the picture.” Well, let’s see….all her previous husbands/boyfriends (Rex? George the Pharmacist?) are dead…..

Who could it be? Wait….Zach Young??? Could it be?? That was one of my BIGGEST problems with the first season, is that he and his father just…went away. Now that I think about it, I’m fairly certain it’s gotta be Zach! Right? Maybe?

Who do you think it is?

Image: CTV

Jon Tenney, who divorced Teri Hatcher in 2003, talked to the McClatchy-Tribune News Service about what life was like after he and Teri broke up.

The 47-year-old actor is the father of Teri’s daughter, Emerson Rose (they’re shown here in March at the 11-year-old’s school sports day), and he also plays Kyra Sedgwick’s love interest on “The Closer” on TNT.

“It was a hard time after my marriage broke up,” he said. “Everybody has his own process. I fell off the map a little bit and retreated, and it took me a while till I had this image of coming up for air. ‘I’m finally at a place where I can come up for air.’ I wasn’t working at the time and then some work came along and it was actually very, very helpful. I always feel alive at work.”

The couple was married for 10 years.

Image: Bauer Griffin