James Denton + Chris Kattan + said gentlemen naked + zombies = seriously, why don’t I already own this??

It’s been out since 2007. I know. I’m late to the trend that’s already swept to far reaches of the Earth. It’s now on my Netflix queue, bumped to the top.

Yes, I love terrible movies. Think this was a bad career move for James?

Has anyone seen the movie?

Desperate Housewives ‘Bargaining’
Air Date: May 21, 2009
Liveblog/recap

OK, so tonight’s the night that Gale Harold/Jackson makes his triumphant return to Wisteria Lane. We know from the previews on last week’s episode that he’s going to propose, and I’m guessing it’ll be a no from Susan? Or not, who knows. Anyway, Neighbor Peggy has bailed aGAIN for DH Night, so I’m with Friend Erin (who, oddly enough, has gotten super interested in the show) and Friend From High School Jen! She’s NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE OF DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (I know, right?), but she’s staying with me for a few days, so she has no choice this week.

Ready? Let’s go! (That reminds me of a cheer I did in high school once. Moving on…)

9:00: The “previously on” is ALL ABOUT SUSAN. And I’m OK with it. Here’s why: I love the Karl drama. And this is also the Great Return of Gale Harold. Both of those are two things that’ll make me watch a Susan-centric episode with the glee of a WoW player at a gaming convention.
9:02: Aight, I’m just going to say this: I don’t like MJ. I don’t like his acting, I don’t like his Children-of-the-Corn demeanor, and I don’t lilke his little front-flip cowlick. That is all.
9:04: Yes! Bree’s only reeeaaally Bree when she’s maneating. And man oh man, is she maneating with this divorce. I’ve MISSED this!
9:07: Uh oh, I smell an eating disorder as Juanita’s looking longingly at a cover of mom…or, you know, a terrible use of mom’s makeup. Whatever, I was close. (Or not at all?)
9:11: “Jackson, Hey. You’re back.” That’s………it? Well, she DID look really excited/happy to have dinner with him. I have a feeling she’s not as aprehensive about him returning as I first thought?
9:14: Aw, Tom’s like the overworked and underappreciated housewife, and then he OPENS HIS SHIRT and whoooa, ABS! Where have you been keeping those, Tommy?
9:15: They have some quick office sex. “That was fast,” –Erin.
9:16: Karl’s handling Bree’s divorce. It’s like the writers are giving me everything I could ever want in life. Do they know that I thrive on trashy desperateness? Gimme more! (Sorry…been listenin’ to Britney a little bit too much lately!)

Read More – ‘Desperate Housewives’ 5.21: ‘Bargaining’

Any idea? Any at all? (How FREAKIN’ adorable is this child??)

Still clueless? Click to find out!

Read More – Can you guess which wife this little baby grew up to be?

Eva told OK! Magazine that she wants to move to France when her husband’s basketball career is over. Tony Parker, of course, plays for the San Antonio Spurs and no one’s expecting him to retire for at least five years.

So here’s the question I’M curious about: Why is she waiting for his career to end? What about hers? Sure, DH will (in theory) end its run before Tony starts thinking about retiring, but why does it have to be all about him?

This raises another question: Who’s more successful? Eva or Tony?

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY: WWGD? (what would Gaby do?)

Image: INF

Desperate Housewives ‘Rose’s Turn’
Air Date: April 26, 2009
Liveblog/recap

OK, so things are a little bit different this week. Neighbor Peggy’s on vacation at a destination bachelorette party in Miami, so I’m joined by two new people: Friend Erin, who’s not super into Desperate Housewives but watches for moral support, and Cute Boy Ryan, who also doesn’t watch the show but is a pretty big TV nerd.

So this should be fun, yes? Let’s go!

9:03: I had some hope that Rose would let everyone know that she saw Orson, but no, she’s on the same crazy train (aaaaaallllll aboooard!) with Crazy Dave and is telling Katherine that she thinks Death came for her ….and stole her knick-knacks.

9:04: You know, as I’m watching this scene between Orson and Bree, I’m realizing it’s been a long time since we’ve had a good divorce. I could use one of those right now, but I don’t think should be Brorson (why has it taken me so long to start calling them that?? It just rolls right off the tongue), at least not yet. I love his crazy pilfering and want more of it!

Read More – ‘Desperate Housewives’ 5.20: ‘Rose’s Turn’

Mario Lopez told starpulse.com that he’s got some intentions to create a cartoon show based off his upcoming children’s book, and he wants an “all-star Latino cast.” That, of course, means his bestie Eva Longoria Parker will be involved. He’s also talked to Gloria Estefan and George Lopez for it, too!

What do you think? Are you a big enough fan of DH to watch a cartoon show about the bond between a brother and sister?

All I know is this: Eva’s got a great voice, and I think as long as she’s not saying desperate-sorta things, she’d be a great voice actor.

Image: Bauer Griffin

E!’s Ted Casablanca is reporting that there’s been some buzz about a ‘wives spinoff — and Kathryn Joosten (Mrs. McCluskey) is rumored to be one of the people studio execs are considering for the new show. She’d be starring with Lily Tomlin, and presumably they’d start their own the old-lady P.I. biz?

Although I love watching these two on the show, I can’t really seen them hacking it for their own series. The No. 1 reason? (Don’t get mad, sista’s just statin’ facks): They’re not hot. Entertaining, yes. But spinoffs seem to be all the rage these days. Would you watch a DH spinoff? Who would you pick for it?

Image: CTV

I love Dana Delany. Sure, I really don’t care for her character on the show, but I DO love that she can’t keep from spilling secrets. I’m pretty sure that she wasn’t supposed to share with E! News that both Jackson and Mike are going to propose to their respective women. Wait that’s Jackson proposing to Susan, and Katherine to Mike, in case there was any confusion (which wouldn’t be that surprising if there was, considering the histories.)

Yes, that’s right. I said Katherine proposing to Mike. She kind of alluded to the fact that Mike might not be doing the asking to Kristin Dos Santos from E! during the GLAAD Media Awards.

“Actually, the proposal is very Mike-like. That’s all I’ll say. Before you get too excited, consider this: Just because there are two proposals doesn’t necessarily mean there will be two answers of ‘yes’ to those proposals, or two weddings,” Dana said to Kristin.

I’m thinking Mike will say yes, Susan will say no?

Image: Bauer Griffin

A few of the ladies were at the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards on Friday, where “Desperate Housewives” picked up an award for outstanding comedy series.

Yay for the gay-friendly ‘wives!

We haven’t seen Brenda Strong and Andrea Bowen in sooooooo long. This made me realize how much I really, really missed Julie. Ugh, she look so good! I don’t even think I love the dress that much (and I certainly don’t love the shoes), but she looks good in both!

Read More – The ‘wives come out for the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards

Desperate Housewives ‘Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know’
Air Date: April 19, 2009
Liveblog/recap

Aight, kids. It’s been waaaaay too long since we last did this, and I’m extremely excited for this episode. I’m excited even though I just stopped of at Wendy’s for a Frosty, and they were all out of chocolate, so I had to get a vanilla Frosty. Why do those even exist?? But now I’m here, with Neighbor Peggy and Friend Erin, and we’re ready to see the first episode of “Desperate Housewives” in a month.

9:00: Yes! Edie’s narrating. “What can I say? It was one of those days.” The only people who’ve narrated the show have been dead. Mary Alice, Rex. Is she dee-ee-dee ded?
9:01: Yep. Less than a minute into the show, and my soap-opera-coma theory is already wrong. Edie really is DEAD dead. Wow. That’s….it?
9:02: It suddenly occurred to me that maybe this is what Dana Delany meant when she said “dead doesn’t mean dead.” Edie’s going to take over for Mary Alice? I mean, her character is totally moot at this point, right? Nicollette’s leaving the show for good, though, so maybe not.
9:04: So are we going to see all these happy stories about when Edie was fun and nice with everyone? Don’t get me wrong, I loved Edie, but she wasn’t the girl next door.
9:05: “Funny and likes to gossip? We’re going to get along just fine,” -Susan. Uh-huh. Yup. Until you BURN EACH OTHER’S HOUSES DOWN?
9:06: Thank the high harlotty heavens! Edie just said she was sleeping with a married neighbor. Good thing we’re not having happy-memory time like the 100th episode, with Eli Scruggs.

Read More – ‘Desperate Housewives’ 5.19, ‘Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know’