Winners and losers from ‘Desperate Housewives’ Season 6, episode 4: ‘The God-Why-Don’t-You-Love-Me Blues’

All right. By now we know how this works, yes? Each week we pick three winners and losers! I take some input from the people I watch with (in this case, Erin and (Not) Neighbor Peggy), and a loooot of input from you guys. And more and more of you have been responding, so thank you!!!

WINNERS

Gaby: A lot of you guys suggested this! With my rant about Susan’s character changing drastically with that little drop-the-car-on-the-vampire stunt, we see Gaby staying true to her character — and growing, too, by realizing that she doesn’t want to go for a stroll down John-Rowland Boulevard again. As LMITCHELL aptly put is, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?”

Ana: I know, I know. Some of you said she’s a loser. All of the non-cyber people in my living room decided Ana was a winner because, like her aunt, she grew as a character. We got to see a little bit more depth with her, where we only saw some teenage snarkery before. And good call, Jaz! “…for realizing Johns a (hott)douchebag and he doesn’t really care about her. And quitting her job instantly when she found out about their history.” Quick question: If we think she might have strangled Julie, do we also think this is a clever DHgods ploy to throw us off the hot chick’s scent? I’m on to your game, guys.

Bree: You guys picked this because she’s a good friend, because phone sex is beneath her and because she’s just so freakin’ great to watch (Thanks @RenatoB, @Jessica, @EvilTurtle, @Jamie. I don’t know HOW she managed to pull this one off, but she’s somehow got the lower hand in the relationship while maintaining the upper hand with Karl?

WOSER/LINNER

Katherine: SEVERAL of you couldn’t decide where to put her, and I toooootally agree. Therefore, we’re introducing a new category. The Woser/Linner category! On the one side, she’s completely gone off the deep end. Her box of Crayolas is missing Sea Foam Green. She’s fallen off her rocker. And. I. Can. NOT. Get. Enough. Of. It. So on behalf of all of the Katherine haters out there — because she was a pile of blah — I can now say she’s left behind the blah pile and entered EntertainingToWatchLand. That SAID, she’s still crazy and not doing some super awesome things with her life right now. Like, for instance, ruining someone else’s wedding cake. Congratulations, Katherine, you get the distinction of having the first Woser/Linner award.

LOSERS
Lynette: Ugghhh, I can’t take this one. At all. Lynette, my rock of morality in this show of desperation has sunk so low to let the sexual harassment of her boss pressure her into SHOWING OFF HER BOOBS TO GET SOMETHING SHE WANTS. No, it’s absolutely not her fault that Carlos is a pig. But Lynette didn’t do what she normally would do — which is to stand up to him and tell him off. We all know this is going to end with it eventually coming out (or maybe not, if she loses the babies?) and Carlos saying, “Aww, why didn’t you tell me? Let’s hug it out.” And I knoooooow a lot of you said she was a winner. I canNOT in good conscience put a woman in the winners’ circle who uses her goodies to get what she wants!

Julie: Is this a first for her to be on this list? She’s on this list for having an affair with a married man (@Jessica), for DYING HER HAIR (@RenatoB, HA!), for trying to protect her strangler (@Jaz) and for not opening her damn mouth @Jamie). She’s just…irritating me. She’s saying a whole lot of nothing and giving it to everyone BUT Susan? Which, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t tell Susan who my babydaddy is either, but she was such a smart 13-year-old kid when we first saw her. She took care of her hapless mother and provided reason in that household. What happened to you, Julie?

Image: CTV

Carlos: is a pig. And doesn’t deserve for me to say anything else about him. Theeeee end.